As moms, we can feel exhausted and overwhelmed with all of the things that fall on our plates. Taking care of others first and putting ourselves last is not a sustainable plan. It can lead to ill health, lack of patience and resentment which can seep into family life such as snapping at our spouse or kids. Nobody wants that! Taking a step back and being intentional can help you take better care of yourself which directly benefits loved ones. Simply put, by showing up for yourself, you will be able to show up for others in a much more positive and joyful way.
Here are some helpful reminders of how to show up for yourself.
Be Present – Really try to be present in the moment. Multitasking too much can take you out of the moment and then you aren’t fully hearing your kids’ stories or seeing their cartwheels. Kids grow so fast, we want to make sure we aren’t missing it! We can definitely miss a lot by rushing around or being on our phone. Yes, our phones. I can be guilty of this as well. We need to make sure that we are putting our phones down and giving others our full attention. Try to be more present throughout the day. Give yourself permission to slow down and enjoy the moment. We do not need to be productive at all times. One trick is to focus on all of your five senses one at a time to take note of what you are seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting and hearing.
Be Kind – This applies to yourself and others. Be mindful of how to talk to yourself and shift gears if you notice negative self-talk popping up. We can be our own worst critics, but realizing our own value is important. Also, pay attention to how you talk to your kids and partner if applicable. It’s easy to quickly snap when short on time, but it can lead to hurt feelings and people tuning you out. I definitely don’t want my kids to just remember me asking them to do their chores, so I make sure to ask about things that interest them and include fun moments.
Be Curious – Be open to new ideas, people, hobbies and experiences. It’s easy to live in our own bubble, in our same old routine, but shaking things up can give us a new perspective, learn new things and add some excitement to our lives. A lot of moms have regretfully dropped their own hobbies, but it’s not too late to weave them back in or even try a new hobby or activity (perhaps painting). Try joining a new book club, meeting up with a friend at a new restaurant or planning a fun new outing for the family. Having fun is an important element of life and creates bonding memories.
Be Still – If you don’t like to meditate, call it a brain break. Give yourself a few moments during the day to just think without distraction. New ideas and thoughts can find us in a way they can’t when we are busy running around or constantly consuming information. At the end of each day, think about three things (big or small) that you are grateful for that surfaced during that day. Studies have shown that having a gratitude practice leads to more positive emotions. We have been practicing this with our kids each evening – to think of something that they are grateful for that day and a prayer for the next day.
Be Active – Incorporate some type of movement each day. Having a healthy mind and body makes it possible for mothers to take care of loved ones. If we let our health fail, it’s hard to take care of others. Some moms don’t like to take the time for themselves, but being healthy actually leads to more energy which makes our days much easier. I also think of it as preventative medicine. By staying active now, I hope to be healthy in the future. I have energetic kids so I’m motivated to exercise so I can keep up with them (and their future kids!). Do whatever exercise suits you whether it’s walking, hitting the gym, taking an exercise class (in person or online). Do something that you enjoy so you can be consistent with it. Try to squeeze in 30 minutes a day on most days.
This quote comes to mind,
“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives”
— Annie Dillard
Very powerful, right? There are many ways to show up in your days which make up your life. I hope these examples are helpful. If you are struggling with how to show up in your life, I would be happy to help you. Schedule a complimentary call with me. It’s a great opportunity to chat about where you would like to see change so you can enjoy your days and life.
It’s Never Too Late for the Life You Want.